I am clumsy and quiet, which translates that I embarrass myself a lot.
Which is somewhat counterproductive, because the whole bloody point of being quiet is to minimize all embarrassing moments. Does this work? No. Not if you go to my school, where everyone from four years down to four years up knows your name.
Usually, I have no excuse for the stupid things I do. They usually involve dancing, because I could not dance to save my life, although I have yet to find a situation in which I would need to dance in order to save my life. Can you imagine that?
Evil Villain: All right. I have captured you for some unfathomable reason, because you neither hold exceptional power, intelligence, beauty, or money.
Me: That sounds reasonable. And kind.
EV: Now that I have you and am waiting for a response to my ransom note, I will need you to do something.
*dramatic pause*
Else you shall DIE.
*dramatic pause*
I shall need you to dance.
Me: What?!
EV: Go on! The Worm? The Macarena? The fist pump? Anything! Your doom awaits!
THEN I would die. But nothing that desperate has happened to me yet. Still, it just so happens that most, if not all of my embarrassing moments occurred because of dancing, clothing, sneezing, exiting or entering rooms at inappropriate times, and one time, cornbread and Snapple. I don't even remember what happened, just that cornbread and Snapple were involved somehow and that it seemed quite scarring.
Not scarring enough if you've forgotten, says my mind.
Shut up, mind. I am trying to tell a story here, and your comments are not helping. You've already put me horribly off track. Look. I was talking about dancing and now I'm talking about cornbread. Shame on ye.
Ah yes. The embarrassing moments that I push myself into hardly count. I don't even remember those. The ones that other people do to me (which also mostly involve dancing) are the ones I remember best, like a time in the sixth grade that I have only ever told B about. That was scarring.
THIS one. Involves DANCING. It is making me so ANGRY and ANNOYED and SCARED that it is CAUSING me to CAPITALIZE important words.
I don't want to. BLEH.
I will let you know if I survive with my dignity intact. (Which I won't.)
Quote for Thursday, May 20, 2010:
Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit.
No one dances sober, unless he is insane.
-Cicero, Pro Murena (Ch. vi, sec. 13).
Muse for Today:
The fact that school ends in FIVE DAYS and that my gym clothes smell like they were dipped in perfume concentrate because of the Girls' Locker Room, even though my socks smell bad.
And this, which is a t-shirt design that I wish I'd made:
I LOVE this haiku. It's my most favorite haiku from this moment onwards, even better than Apollo's 'Green grass' one, which I enjoyed tres much
ReplyDeleteOh no! I forgot to put a period at the end of the last sentence of my last comment!
ReplyDeleteJust pretend that there's a period there.