Showing posts with label A whole lot o' tags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A whole lot o' tags. Show all posts

10 June 2011

A Desperately Scattered Post

Generic Friend: Heyy
Me: Hi.
Generic Friend: What's up?!?
Seriously? I might kill you.
I don't like people who do that. If you are bored, don't spread your ennui my way. I am happy here. On the internet. Or, you know, not on the Internet. Um, yeah. That happens, um, often. All the time. *coughs, refuses to make eye contact, pulls at collar of t-shirt*
As much as I like hearing from my friends, them being bored is not really something that stimulates my interest. Become less boring, and then talk to me.
Oh. I'm a jerk. Don't look at me. DON'T LOOK AT MY TEARS
Exams are over, but I still have to get my results, and I am maybe 89.4% sure I failed math and physics, but I am not worried about anything else. Because I am totallyfreakingwonderful at everything else, right? *begins to cry anew*
Also, I finished Darkly Dreaming Dexter. The ending traumatized me because Jeff Lindsay is a brilliant, annoying sadist who likes toying with the vulnerable feelings of his readers. But I quite like the book, and I would read the second one. Dexter's an interesting guy.
Things what I did today:
  • Woke up
  • Took an English final
  • The bell rang in a disappointingly un-High School Musical way
  • But we were let out of school forever! (Until next fall)
  • Walked to a restaurant to have breakfast with three of my friends
  • Ate breakfast
  • It was really good (banana-nut French toast)
  • Wandered around my town
  • Realized that if you are a group of nerdy teenagers there is nothing to do in my town
  • Walked to a craft store
  • Bought black half-masks
  • Wore them on the street
  • I'm fairly sure people in their cars thought we were crazy
  • I know at least one of them stared
  • Went to my house
  • Watched Phineas and Ferb
  • Hmm
  • Anyway
  • Got a shot
  • It didn't really hurt that badly
  • But I would say that anyway, because I want the Internet to believe that I'm not a sniveling little coward
  • Ate pasta
  • Gods above, I did a lot of eating today
  • And putting it on this list just makes me look like a bigger pig
  • Ah well
  • I do like eating
  • I am watching Tron: Legacy
  • And it is well-made and quite technically proficient
  • (HONESTLY, GUYS--THEY'RE WEARING LIGHT)
  • But Disney needs to stop using the name 'Flynn'
  • Tangled and Tron: Legacy had close release dates, and they had 'Flynn Rider' and 'Sam Flynn' respectively
  • The next film they release will have a guy named 'Flynn Flynn'
  • I wouldn't be surprised
  • I am done
  • I have to finish watching this film
Quote for Friday, June 10, 2011:
I assure you, a tiger, or a venomous serpent could not rouse terror in me equal to that which he wakens.
-Isabella Heathcliff

Muse for Today:
Sometimes, being with people you like very much is exhaustive, because you actually care about their opinions. I tend to be more honest with people I barely know than people whom I actually trust. Why is this?

28 May 2011

Heavy Heaviness is Heavy

I should really just make "Things I Don't Like" a thing (is it already a thing? What constitutes something being a thing?) because the main reasons that I got on Blogger were because of TWO things I don't like:
  1. School
  2. Adults--specifically, adults who talk about you when YOU'RE RIGHT BLOODY THERE. Thank you, Mother, but I have a rudimentary enough understanding of Hindi to know that you're talking about me. Honestly. Exactly how stupid am I supposed to be?
I have heavy things on my mind, not in the literal sense (heh) but yesterday was weird and dense enough, and now that I seem to be out of my rut of bad blogging (although, depending on your opinion, I might have always been a bad blogger and my rut might just be permanent), let's talk about lighter things.
Like the future.
Because that's not heavy at all.
When you're me, that is pretty heavy (why have I used the word 'heavy' so many times? Am I from the eighties? What is going on?), especially when you've no blooming idea what you want to be. See, I have a vague idea, but the...practicality...is not entirely there. I don't much want to think about what I'm going to be, because I am trying to get through my life now, and that seems hard enough. Sometimes now is enough to deal with.
But things that are not so heavy (since I am going with that word now) or actually may be heavy but pique my interest:
  • People who make drawings for me, especially when they surpass what little skill I possess
  • People who defy my expectations
  • The Dexter Morgan Series. I looked on Wikipedia, and the last book in the series (Dexter is Delicious) has influences of cannibalism. CANNIBALISM? Dear Jeff Lindsay, Dexter's ALREADY a supernatural crazy serial killer! HOW MUCH FURTHER DO YOU NEED TO GO? Even though I am now scared to proceed any further with this series, and I am myself a vegetarian, I am wondering how an author even begins to work something as tabooed and unconventional as cannibalism into a book. *shudders* Looks like I'll continue these. *gingerly picks up Darkly Dreaming Dexter*
  • That 'How Stuff Works' has a page on sarcasm, and it's not sarcastic. It's genuine, and pretty interesting.
  • All-American Rejects. It's funny how I can listen to 'Move Along' after four years of running to it and still like the song. Also, in the Performance Version of 'Gives You Hell' (I like it better than the Narrative Version), Tyson looks crazy and/or drunk, and either he can't dance/he is Jack Sparrow/he was drunk. Hmm?
  • S'mores. I'm having some over AN ACTUAL FIREPIT later tonight, and that will be the first time I've ever done that!
  • Charlie McDonnell. Still amazing. I've been watching his vlogs for almost a year!
  • David Tennant, because he is still the best Doctor in the entire world, even though some people *coughs at someone who is not reading this* think Matt Smith is better.
Quote for Saturday, May 28, 2011:
"Good evening. Tonight on 'Is There' we examine the question, 'Is there a life after death?' And here to discuss it are three dead people."

Muse for a Day:
"How about 'Hello, sweetie!'? You should put that as your quote."
"No, that's dumb. I hate River Song, and I hate everything she says, and I hate that quote. And not everyone will understand it, anyway."
"But it's good! Please!"
"Shut up. You get your own blog, and then you can have a Quote of the Day, and you can put that rubbish quote. And even then, you would have gotten the idea from me."
"I'll get a blog. But I won't have a Quote of the Day! I'll have a Quote of the Week! I might even have a Quote...of All Quotes!"
*long pause*
"What are you even saying? Idiot."
"Even then, Marshmallow People will still come first."
"Idiot."

31 March 2011

Gone With the Wind

I wrote this and wanted to put it on here, but I seriously couldn't be bothered editing it to make coherent sense. It was written in a stream of consciousness, so some ideas may be more stupid than others.

Also, the formatting on this post is kind of wonky, but there's nothing I could do to fix that...

**Also, I seriously spoil Gone With the Wind for you, so read at will.**

I finished Gone with the Wind, the epically long novel by Margaret Mitchell.

I stormed around for about an hour because, Good Lord, that book is 1037 pages long, and that was it? That was the ending? I was whipped along on some challenging, somewhat romantic ride through the American South during the Civil War, was forced to endure the continuing oblivious nature of Scarlett O’Hara (or Hamilton or Kennedy or Butler, I don’t really know), the sweet stupidity of Melanie Wilkes, the doomed and senseless ‘love’ between Scarlett and Ashley Wilkes, and the odd, unfathomable charisma of Rhett Butler…and in the end, what does that writer do? Lovely Melanie dies, clueless, trusting and pure to the bitter end; Rhett disintegrates because he never got Scarlett and lost his daughter-version of Scarlett in Bonnie and ceases to be the selfish rascal that made me like him in the first place; and Scarlett realizes the truths that I have known the whole freaking time, and ultimately fails to get Rhett. She was so blind for so long that she lost him! In the name of God! What kind of a moron is she?

And it (meaning the fist-clenching idiocy of it all) doesn’t even end there! Scarlett stands in the dining room at the end of the book, alone, freshly rejected by Rhett and in pure realization that she never loved Ashley in the first place, and she says to herself that she’ll think about all the drama of the evening later, because she simply can’t bear to think of it all now.

What in the bloody name of pomegranates? Why do you think this bothers me so much? Because this is what she has been doing for more than one-thousand pages, and it’s sort of wearing at this point. For all that she hates Ashley’s tendency to live in dreams and not look at what was in front of him, Scarlett is amazingly good at this too. She always says that she’ll ‘think about it later’, and then she never does! The problem gets shoved to the back of everything and ultimately ends up corroding the framework of her life. Thinking about it later is why it was ultimately better that Rhett and Melanie had Ashley buy the mill from Scarlett. Johnnie Gallagher was mistreating the convicts so badly, and she just wanted to ‘think about it later.’ Well, she never did. And Ashley got the mill, and he was fully willing to hire freed slaves and pay their wages instead of the cheap convict labor Scarlett so loved.

So this darling little adage of hers really doesn’t seem to do much good, and yet that’s how the book ends. With her thinking about how to win Rhett back ‘another day.’

The way she goes, she might never do that.

But I railed and I complained, and then I started thinking.

Honestly—I hate this ending. This is the longest book I have ever read in my life, and that was one of the most disappointing endings ever written, I think. But it makes sense. I don’t have to like it, but it makes sense.

I was born and bred on Disney and fairytales, and that was my childhood, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I like that I had a sheltered portion of my life where I thought that everything could be okay, that everybody got a happy ending. But I’ve grown up since then. I’m not foolish enough to say I’ve grown up completely, but yes, I’ve grown up. And maybe this was Margaret Mitchell’s way of telling girls like me that we don’t always get a happy ending. Scarlett was indeed the belle of the county, and she was charming and lovely and that’s what princesses are like. In a way, to so many characters, Scarlett was a princess. But she spent so much of her life pining after something she didn’t understand, something that wasn’t even real, that she failed to appreciate what she did have, which was the love of a guy like Rhett Butler. She was selfish and greedy and stupid and cunning and far too human to be a princess.

In a fairy tale, maybe there’d be some second chance. Maybe Rhett wouldn’t have exhausted all of his love for Scarlett and they could have lived happily ever after, the end. But life doesn’t always have second chances. Not every fool gets second chances if she’s exhausted every resource, every chance thrown her way. And that’s always been a faint truth lingering in the back of my head, but this ending—this horrible, awful, maddeningly unsatisfying ending—really drove the point home. Not everyone always wins. It’s a simple, difficult truth.

I can appreciate it, but I don’t have to like it. I can still like my fairytale endings, because they belong in fairytales. I just need to start growing up and differentiating what happens in real life and what rarely ever does.

But rarely—rarely does a naïve soul like Melanie love a brazen, hard person like Scarlett and not even realize that there is no love back. Rarely is a person so loved and ignorant of that love it as Scarlett was to Rhett Butler. Rarely have I loathed and failed to understand a person, even just a character, as I have loathed and failed to understand the selfish, scheming Scarlett. She was a moron. She trampled people to get her way, she alienated people, she taunted them, used them, clung to them when they were up and kicked them when they were down. She’s no princess, but I guess that might’ve been the point.