A Really Idiotic Name

AG. I put this up too late! It counts for April 22. It was written on April 22, I just didn't publish it! I saved it when I was doing homework and forgot about it. Ag, ag, ag. Cut me a break.

I'm talking about bad romance novel names.

While I love his books, John Green is notorious for this. Lacey Worthington? Colin Singleton? Quentin Jacobsen? Even Miles Halter is a stretch. Miles Halter could be the stable boy who is in love from afar with the boss's daughter. The boss's daughter, Lacey Worthington, could be in love with him, and think that she has a secret romance with him, but it's really with his twin brother, Colin, who is really in love with the baker's daughter, Margo, and is only using Lacey to get to her family's fortune so he'll have enough money to marry Margo. And Miles lies broken hearted.

But I digress.

Bad Romance Novel Names are not necessarily names from soap operas. BRNNs are names that are so, so romantic and fluffy that they simply don't seem real. They are usually designed to fit the character, like you have the beautiful, forbidden daughter of the mayor? Something flowy and pretty, like Selena Van Slaterson. The ugly, evil guy who is out to ruin Selena's life? Hugo Norris, or something dark and squat.

I don't know if this is a real thing, I've always had this idea in my head. They've always scared me to death, soap opera names. Whenever I write something, I spend the longest time (I kid you not) the longest time on the name. I am actually currently writing a story where I am having so much trouble with the protagonist's name that I am just leaving a blank space every time her name should enter the story. (She's basically Katniss Everdeen, only meaner. Yeah. It's a shame that I have to steal from the brilliance of Suzanne Collins. But I can't come up with anything better, and Suzanne Collins is smart. And good at coming up with names. An underrated task!) And I never, ever name anyone Trent/Brad/Fabio/Lance/Dominic/etcetera, because while those names are fine in real life, they are not fine in soap operas, especially when paired with a name that ends in 'ton', you're in trouble. You have a Bad Romance Novel Name.