How Embarrassing.

I am clumsy and quiet, which translates that I embarrass myself a lot.

Which is somewhat counterproductive, because the whole bloody point of being quiet is to minimize all embarrassing moments. Does this work? No. Not if you go to my school, where everyone from four years down to four years up knows your name.

Usually, I have no excuse for the stupid things I do. They usually involve dancing, because I could not dance to save my life, although I have yet to find a situation in which I would need to dance in order to save my life. Can you imagine that?

Evil Villain: All right. I have captured you for some unfathomable reason, because you neither hold exceptional power, intelligence, beauty, or money.

Me: That sounds reasonable. And kind.

EV: Now that I have you and am waiting for a response to my ransom note, I will need you to do something.

*dramatic pause*

Else you shall DIE.

*dramatic pause*

I shall need you to dance.

Me: What?!

EV: Go on! The Worm? The Macarena? The fist pump? Anything! Your doom awaits!

THEN I would die. But nothing that desperate has happened to me yet. Still, it just so happens that most, if not all of my embarrassing moments occurred because of dancing, clothing, sneezing, exiting or entering rooms at inappropriate times, and one time, cornbread and Snapple. I don't even remember what happened, just that cornbread and Snapple were involved somehow and that it seemed quite scarring.

Not scarring enough if you've forgotten, says my mind.

Shut up, mind. I am trying to tell a story here, and your comments are not helping. You've already put me horribly off track. Look. I was talking about dancing and now I'm talking about cornbread. Shame on ye.

Ah yes. The embarrassing moments that I push myself into hardly count. I don't even remember those. The ones that other people do to me (which also mostly involve dancing) are the ones I remember best, like a time in the sixth grade that I have only ever told B about. That was scarring.

THIS one. Involves DANCING. It is making me so ANGRY and ANNOYED and SCARED that it is CAUSING me to CAPITALIZE important words.

I don't want to. BLEH.

I will let you know if I survive with my dignity intact. (Which I won't.)

Quote for Thursday, May 20, 2010:

Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit.

No one dances sober, unless he is insane.

-Cicero, Pro Murena (Ch. vi, sec. 13).

(http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dancing

)

Muse for Today:

The fact that school ends in FIVE DAYS and that my gym clothes smell like they were dipped in perfume concentrate because of the Girls' Locker Room, even though my socks smell bad.

And this, which is a t-shirt design that I wish I'd made:

What do I love?

• Right now? Not much.

I'm still running off of yesterday. The hatred is still present. Hopefully not perpetually, because that would make me an angry teenager. That is too cliche for me. And I don't know how to be a goth.

I Hate...

• the song 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira.
• various people with whom I go to school.
• war.
• the presence of war in Social Studies. Can't we talk about anything else?
• Math. Especially GEOMETRY. My hatred for Geometry deserves its own post.
• e-mail. Not all of e-mail, actually. How I DON'T CHECK IT AT THE RIGHT DARN TIMES.
• people who chew their gum like cows.
• book banners.
• bullies.
• the song 'No One' by Alicia Keys.
• people who look sad all of the time/are always crying.
• tests. ESPECIALLY MATH TESTS.
• stupid project partners who don't do their work.
• stupid friends who act like they're not your friends sometimes.
• secrets.
• feeling helpless.
• speaking in front of people.
• mannerless people.
• any song by Ke$ha and Justin Bieber. They could be lovely people, just please don't allow them to sing.
• Sundays.
• Mondays.
• dances.
• dancing.
• it when people say that seafood is not meat. Yes, it is.
• people who have obnoxious laughs.
• several game show hosts.
• when it's too too hot or too too cold.
• unfair teachers.
• people who are too too perfect/too too nice because they are definitely hiding something.
• backstabbers.
• traitors.
• reality show people.
• people who are angry for no reason.
• people who are not angry with me but take it out on me anyway.
• bad books.
• corrupt politicians.
• several people who go to my school. Did I say that already?
• when the Internet dies.
• cleaning my room.
• cleaning anything.
• Susan from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle because she's such a doofus.
• Twilight ripoffs, like this one book called Fallen (don't ever read it, it stinks SO MUCH).
• angry silence.
• the sight of gratuitous carnage/blood.
• certain boys who go to my school.
• certain girls who go to my school, especially one who fake-bakes and looks orange. She also wears too much makeup- you can see the oil building up at the side of her nose. We have the same birthday.
• that that girl and I have the same birthday.
• phonies.
• when things don't work out.
• people who roll their eyes when they think that you aren't looking.
• MTV. I thought they played music. Apparently I was wrong?
• Sonny With a Chance. The only good thing that came out of that was "Really, Chad? Really?" Well, that's not the only good thing. But it stinks now.
• vomiting.
• people who won't read.
• people who won't read and convince others not to read.
• Wizards of Waverly Place. That show is just plain bad and I knew it from the start.
• headaches.
• bad soap operas.
• bad movies with bad actors.
• sexual/violent video games.
• memorizing nonsense.
• writer's block.
• pongal, which is an Indian food that you might have had before. If you haven't, you are missing nothing.
• when people act like they're really cool when they're not.
• petty anger.
• hypocrisy, which I am displaying a generous amount of with this list.

And this isn't even all. I might have to do a Part Two to this.

My Last Chance

...to publish a post in April.

Either time flies or I don't blog very much.

Ha. I think we know which one it is.

Tum de tum de tum. Tra la la la la la.

Muse for Today:

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury- the book, not the movie.

It's banned-book buddies with The Giver by Lois Lowry, with which it is quite similar.

Quote for Friday, April 30, 2010:

“Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our noses and we blew it!”

and

“Holy strawberries, Batman, we’re in a jam!”

-Robin [I'm not sure from exactly what]

(http://greatsayings.blogspot.com/2005/03/batman-and-robin-quotes.html

)

Stupid Joke

Hip-hop music that is no longer in style should merely be referred to as 'hop.'