A Happy Pig and Stupid Pigs

(I love this pig.) (Also, I do not own this picture of this pig. All credit goes here.)
It is 2011, a year which is almost halfway done. Wow. Time goes slowly while you're living it, but when you look back, it seems like gobs and gobs of time are slipping away.

"It reminds me that I'm closer to death!"

Ah, yes. Thank you, Cheerful Callie of Ironica, for your wise words of...cheer. Heh.

"You're welcome!"

Ah, ha! I hate you! But thanks!

So, in our seminar today, we are going to talk about something blah yeah bleh ugh.

I have nothing to say, but I wanted to put a post up anyway because I don't want to get out of practice and have to launch myself in with a BEDA-style challenge.

Again.

I have finals soon, but they start on Wednesday. I'll study. Tuesday night.

And maybe after school ends and I stop "learning" from my Spanish teacher every day for an hour (an hour where she figuratively sticks a bottle opener covered in acid into my brain and randomly pokes around in there but literally makes us write dialogue after unnecessary dialogue for want of anything better to do) my writing will not suck so much.

Or maybe it will. Who knows. I hate my Spanish teacher. What a cow. What a pig. (No offense, Smiling Pig Above.)

I also hate stupid females and males in my World Studies class. (I mean, come on. I'm not that smart, but even I know that Islam is not a country. Or a language. OR a city. I'm surprised you can even read, much less be in an honors class. And do you know how I know what Islam is? Because I actually do the bloody reading! EXTRAORDINARY!)

I'm sorry about this post. But enjoy the pig. And look at the Muse, so you can have the pleasure of reading something that is not me. Unfortunately, I am an unfaithful Blogger user, and they are all from Tumblr.

Quote for Thursday, June 2, 2011:

Never trust a pig selling pork sandwiches.

-Tom Robbins

(http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pig)

Muse for Today:

MR. BEAN! PAPER HAT! *swoons and dies*: http://nerdboyfriend.com/2010/04/rowan-atkinson/
One of the funniest Tumblrs ever: http://nickclegglookingsad.tumblr.com/
Something Harry Potter related and funny because of Ron's face: http://lexcanroar.tumblr.com/post/6108987401

INTP

This guy is called frezned. Well, actually, he's called Tom McLean, but on the Internet he's frezned. Why? I don't know. Before I started watching his videos I thought his name was Ned. It's not. He could have at least called himself freztom or something. He's just confusing everyone.

Anyway.

He is Australian, and you don't really have to watch the video to understand this post but you should watch the video anyway because frezned is HILARIOUS. Almost as hilarious as me.***

Anyway, the test he is talking about is here. There you go, just click on the word 'here'. Nicely done. You've grown up so much. I'm so proud of your clicking abilities. (Psst! I'm really not.)

As you can tell from the title, I am an INTP, which means "Introverted (I)Ntuitive Thinking Perceiving" and sorry, but I am probably not going to talk about your type (unless you are also an INTP). Because this is my blog, okay?

The description page for an INTP describes me in a very uncomfortable way. I guess it's what I would be were I being honest with myself. Except it says I'm 'familiar with the dark side' and I'm not quite sure what that means. I'm Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader? Or I am prone to doing things that are wrong? I am in touch with the bad things in life? I am slightly self-destructive and can relate to why people do bad things? Hmm...

Nope. I'm pretty sure it means I'm Anakin Skywalker. That would make sense. Yeah.

Some things it says that are sadly true about me: I don't like happy people, I don't think I am weird but others do (I mean, I know I'm weird. It's just that I am even weirder than I think I am. Apparently. Talking to other humans lets me know this is true), not punctual and frequently loses things (*sighs, shakes head sadly*).

Anyway, quite a bit of this is true about me. So I looked up what the polar opposite of an Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving is, and it is an Extroverted Sensing Feeling Judging. And that one makes me sad. Almost nothing on that personality box is true for me.

And the moral of this story is: Um, all I really wanted to do was watch old frezned videos, but instead I wrote a post. So when you want to do something fun, instead do something fun that involves more work than the first fun thing. Yeah. Wait, that's a rubbish moral. Maybe I should stop now.

***Far, far, far more hilarious than me. Also more Australian than me, which makes him better than me in every way. EVERY. WAY. He also makes quantum physics jokes that I don't understand and does fancy computer stuff for fun. This makes him so much better than me that after I finish this post I will cease to exist.

Quote for Monday, May 30, 2011:

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.

-Francis Bacon

(http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Francis_Bacon)

Muse for Today:

This thing. I suppose it's really the opposite of a Muse, because instead of making me think or making me curious, it is WIPING ALL THOUGHT FROM MY HEAD. I keep listening to the Supa Dance Mix over and over and over and over and over and over and over ad infinitum.

LOOK, QUESTA. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU'VE CREATED A MONSTER.

I'm Not Self-Centered, I'm the Best

I've been reading all of my old posts, and I am the funniest and best person I know! I'm almost crying from my excellent humor! How did I become so riotous?

And since I know you all are always interested in news that has to do with me, I graced the employees of the local Improbable Purchases store with my most marvelous presence to inform them that they were totally at fault for my overdose of Essence of Self-Esteem, and that I was deeply insulted that I needed a tonic to appreciate how riveting I actually am. I want the Essence of Self-Esteem to be removed from my system.

After laughing for fifteen minutes (they could just sense the aura of my most striking humor), they said that if I 'came to terms with my own flaws', my self-esteem would sink back down to its normal level.

*scoffs* What flaws?

Whatever.

Read about me taking Essence of Self-Esteem here.

I'm the Most Humble and Intelligent Person Ever, and You are Lucky to Know Me

I bought some Essence of Self-Esteem at the local Improbable Purchases store, because some people think that I don't have enough of it. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. Oh, well. I'm sure you'll notice a change in my attitude over the next few posts.

On to the post.

A lot of things have happened to me in the last week.

School started.

I got my first ever cell phone.

Now, these two I had no control over. If I had any control over the education system, I wouldn't be here right now. And you would be working for me.

*OMINOUS CRASHES OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING*

And a cell phone was not my choice either. I would prefer not to have one, actually, but telling this story would disclose too much personal information than I ever want to tell the Internet.

But the third thing is something which is a shame, shame, shame of mine.

I have two pairs of skinny jeans.

If you don't know me, you might find it difficult to understand why this upsets me. Well, because I've always thought that I was better than that. Better than falling for some trend so that I could be 'cool'.

I tormented myself with this for a while, and then several sprigs of reason sprouted into my mind.

1. Under NO circumstances, in any way in this lifetime will I EVER, EVER, EVER be considered cool, and one style of clothing is not going to make me this way. Really. Even if I wore a shirt that said 'I am cool" it would be a lie. (Actually, anyone who wears a shirt proclaiming that they are cool is automatically not cool.)
2. What is cool, anyway? It's an illusion. Pants cannot make someone cool. What are they without the pants? Pantless, that's what. Pantless and uncool and probably embarrassed because they aren't wearing any pants, and today was the day that they chose to wear their favorite Care-Bears underwear. So, being cool is actually embarrassing and painful. (If you stay in school, you can be as smart as me but not really.)
3. If I had bought these pants at the start of skinny jeans trend, then I would be a stupid trend follower. But I didn't. So there. (Cold comfort. And I find that comfort is best served with a side of chocolate and sympathy. Oh, self! You are so good at turning an already bad joke into a prolonged, obscure, worse one. You are so smart.)

I know there are people who follow fashion closely, and I'm not saying that they are idiots. I'm saying that 'tis more important to wear what you want to wear, even if it looks kind of awful, than to only follow what other people think is cool and not look like yourself at all.

Sometimes, I feel as though all of my moral principals are not common. That not everyone thinks the way I do.

And then I realize that I'm right, and I congratulate myself heartily and appreciate how lucky I am to know a person as smart as me.

Look at how humble I am in this post. Ah, that's one of the things I love most about myself.

*OMINOUS CRASHES OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING*

I thought I turned my Ominous Crashes of Thunder and Lightning Machine (patent pending) off! Can't even trust myself anymore, no matter how unbelievable a prodigy I am.

Quote for Saturday, August 28, 2010:

I am the only good person for quotes anymore. Ha!

-New, Brimming-with-Confidence Me

Muse for Today:

Gasp! I may have overdosed on Essence of Self-Esteem! The people at the Improbable Store warned me about this! They called it... Overconfidence. They said that after overdosing Essence of Self-Esteem, there is no going back!

Well, who said that that's a bad thing? I'm so amazing, it's only right that I should appreciate what an intelligent, witty, superior, popular, funny, lovable, talented, fantastic, nimble, literate, good-smelling, enviable genius I am! Besides, I never do anything wrong, so my overdose of Essence of Self-Esteem was the fault of the people at the Improbable Purchases store for selling me too much of it. Ugh, corporate people. They'll never be like me, their brains are too diminutive to handle everything that I know!

Sorry this Muse is so long... I became so lost in my excellent word choice...