What? What's that? You saw the title and were concerned? What about the refreshing cliffhanger ending of yesterday? Who was the Creeper's friend? Why did she have large amounts of generic health cereal falling out of her mouth? What was with the leg warmers in that garish shade of yellow? Was she even a girl? Did I even mention all of this yesterday?
You'll find out, she was hungry, who knows, not sure, and YES (NO).
But that exciting tale will be recounted tomorrow, or some day when I can fully explain to you the dire and surreal situation I am in.
But normalcy-
Today, I want to tell you about cookies.
Something I like: Eating items that are high in fat and deliciousness.
Somethings I don't like: Exercising and eating things that are high in health.
I think I've eaten half a pack of chewy cookies today instead of eating a normal lunch like a normal person, and my stomach hurts. It's not even my fault- the cookies were so good that I thought no one else should eat them. Just not allowed. So I was doing my civic duty, and what do I get? Sick. Not to mention about 40 million more calories than anyone needs in a day.
So even though the evil delicacies are turning my stomach into a butter churn, I must express my love and affection for them.
What is so appealing about chocolate chip cookies? I love Oreos, too, but I can restrain myself. I can stop at *coughs until number is unitelligible*! But chocolate chip cookies seem to take away all of my willpower.
They are possibly made of butter and sugar and flour and chocolate chips and vanilla extract and water and THE ENTHRALLING POWER OF A SIREN***.
They're not even my favorite food- not even my favorite pastry. I love ravioli to pieces, and I like blondies (butterscotch brown-sugar brownies. VERY good) and I can STOP eating them when I feel like I have to.
But chocolate chip cookies will be my downfall.
This was rubbish, but I feel sick and repulsed with myself. I am going outside to try and redeem myself.
It is finally warm outside here- very super warm- and I am wearing shorts. The problem with me wearing shorts is that the second I do, I begin to believe that I am an athlete.
Unless chewy chocolate chip eating is a sport, which it shouldn't be, this is a disappointing delusion.
Quote for Saturday, April 9, 2011:
Part of me suspects that I'm a loser and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
-John Lennon
Muse for Today:
Why is a suspension a punishment? When someone is acting up in school, why, exactly, is it a punishment for you not to allow them to go to school for a couple of days? That's like a bloody reward!
***Like the mermaid-type creatures from mythology, not a police one. Those don't have too much enthralling power, as far as I know.
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